A. J. Considers the Options

...stopping is not arriving. To stop is to stay a million miles from it and to do nothing is to miss it by the whole width of the universe.

- Thomas Merton

Taking into consideration what might happen only immobilized A. J.

He could never be sure which way to go - which way was safe, and without pain. There was never any assurance or guarantee. A. J. knew that.

Still, it comforted A. J. to hold to a knowing, that whatever choice he made, it would be the right choice. His choices were always the right choice. He charted his course by what felt right. The real difficulty was in the acting - acting in the face of not knowing where those right choices might lead.

A. J. knew that if he waited too long, the pain of not making a choice would become so intense that he would make a choice - or else the prolonged procrastination of not making a choice would become a choice in itself.

He always wondered about these choices; whether they were even choices at all. So, A. J. preferred to act before such moments arrived - stay ahead of the game - even if he sometimes acted spontaneously. He enjoyed a pretense of free will at least.

No, A. J. could never be sure which way to go. He could only choose which way felt right.

- The Fool
- photo by Rodney Smith